just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
