you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
