This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
