I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
