Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
