that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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