WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
