just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
