she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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