you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
my poor anus
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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