; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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