Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
