whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
The air taste purple.
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