I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
