do herpes really smell.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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