the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
