Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
