literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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