You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
