I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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