i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
