Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
