Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
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