just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
