you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
