i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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