You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
