mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
