i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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