Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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