I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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