just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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