people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
