what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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