I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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