So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
