What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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