how do flat chested girls get laid?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
