my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
