Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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