I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
