I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I forget how to act sober
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