i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
