Cold hands, warm shart.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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