do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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