physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she told me i tasted like america
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
