Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Just high enough for therapy.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
sex in a hospital.. check
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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