I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
