Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
