The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
