you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
