my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
